


Forever and Always.

by Iliketowrite_2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Hair Loss, Loss, Reader Insert, Sadness, Sick!Reader, Vomiting, chemo - Freeform, sick reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 22:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iliketowrite_2/pseuds/Iliketowrite_2
Summary: A fic based of the song "The Fault in our Stars" by Troye Sivan.The reader is sick. Really sick. So Dean makes every second count.





	Forever and Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading. Please heed the warnings. Xx
> 
> DO NOT COPY, RE-WRITE, PASTE, OR POST MY WORK ON ANY OTHER SITE! GIVING CREDIT DOES NOT COUNT!
> 
> Lol sorry that's a little aggressive, but i need to get the point across. Don't steal other people's hard work, guys. It's not okay.

Told in Deans P.O.V:

 

The weight

Of a simple human emotion weighs me down

More than the tank ever did

 

“Dean?” My head shot up at the sound of Y/n hoarse voice,

“Y/n?” I stood from my place in the library, striding to the bottom of the stairs to meet Y/n. She’d been feeling sick for the past few weeks, and I finally pushed her enough to get herself checked out. As I had met her at baby this morning, she insisted I stayed home and search more on a case Sammy had found. I was reluctant at first, wanting to be her support, but when she assured me it was probably nothing, I obliged, watching as she drives away down the dirt road in Baby. 

I looked up the steps to see Y/n, looking down at me. She tried to smile, but I could see the pain and fear in her eyes without even trying. “Y/n/n? What’s-“ she cut me off as she pulled me into a tight hug as soon as she reached the ground. I pulled her in closer to me, my brow furrowing in concern and confusion. I pulled back, holding her by her arms, looking straight into those gorgeous y/e/c eyes, now clouded with despair and filled to the brink with tears. 

“Dean,” She whispered, voice wavering slightly. She smiled a painful smile, taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly through her nose before continuing, “I’m sick..”

The pain

It's determined and demanding

To ache, but I'm okay

 

My heart dropped, and it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. She’s sick. I knew by her expression that she wasn’t just ‘sick’. She’s was sick. I stayed silent, trying to wrap my head around what that might mean. Y/n is my life. I have no awareness of how much time is passing me by, and in that moment, my world had stopped. 

“Babe?” Y/n whispered, looking up at me, nothing but sadness and concern in her eyes. 

“You’re sick?” My voice cracked as I finally opened my mouth to speak. 

“Yeah baby.” She let out a sob, her face crumbling as she tried to keep herself together. For my sake. “I’m sick.” 

I didn’t care to let her elaborate, my heart was constricting, closing in on itself. I had never felt pain like this before. My whole body ached with a phantom pain. I pulled her to my chest with such force, praying that if I kept her close, safe in my embrace, nothing would ever happen to her. My love. 

And I I don't wanna let this go

I don't wanna lose control

I just wanna see the stars with you

 

I didn’t know what was happening. The world seemed to rush past me in a flurry of lights that I could never clearly see. Everything was falling apart. She had stayed strong through all this for me. For me. It was my turn to be strong, to be there for her. Be her rock when the whole world around us was unsteady. She’s my girl. I know I need to be there for her now. 

I never truly understood how much Y/n meant to me, until I knew I only had so much time left with her. 

 

And I don't wanna say goodbye

Someone tell me why

I just wanna see see the stars with you

 

Despite everything, Y/n kept a smile on her face, fighting the best fight she could, but I could see through her like glass. She’s terrified. She has every right to be. She’s been given a limit on life. And it wasn’t fair. 

The world is a cruel place, taking things as it pleases, just because it can. It wants to take my girl, my star, but I’ll kick ass with her, even when she can’t anymore. It’s all I can do. 

 

You lost

A part of your existence in the war

Against yourself

 

Y/n’s hair fell out after her first few weeks of chemo. She was sick all the time, vomiting after every drink, and every meal. The spark she’d had a month ago was gone, now replaced with tired, sunken eyes. 

Her body was fighting against itself, denying basic needs. She was constantly exhausted. Unable to keep herself upright most of the time. But I was hers. 

I rubbed her back when she was sick, I made her laugh when she felt the world turning against her. I held her when she broke, and she held me in return. 

”I don’t wanna lose you..” I whispered to her as she looked into my eyes.

“I’ll always be here. Even if i’m not.”

 

Oh, the lights,

They light up in lights of sadness

Telling you, it's time to go

 

The first time Sammy and I had rushed her to the hospital was when she started choking. Sam took the wheel as I held her in the back, not knowing what to do, how to help her, but still trying anyway. Blood was dripping down her chin and she held my hand tightly, nails digging into my skin; creating little crescents on my hand. 

I rushed her through the hospital doors, Sam screaming for a nurse. I placed her on the gurney as they rushed her away. 

“She’s gonna be okay right?” I questioned one of the nurses who I had grabbed by the wrist before she made it through the emergency double doors,“We’ll do our best, sir.” I dropped her arm and she wooshed away behind the doors. Sam guided me towards the waiting room seats and I sat myself down, Sammy placing a comforting hand on my back. 

Three hours. Three hours of pure agony. Just waiting. Not knowing. Until we did.

“Here for Y/n Y/l/n?” I shot up out of my seat, Sam right behind me. The nurse didn’t say anything as she lead us into a tiny hospital room with a center piece. Y/n. I rushed over to her form in the bed, tubes and wires surrounded her, and a steady beeping that told me she was okay. 

I grabbed her hand and caressed it gently, kissing her knuckles. Her eyes slowly cracked open then, but only a little. “Hey Sweetheart.” I breathed. She gave me a hint of a smile as she weakly brought my hand up to her mouth and kissed it gently , before hugging our hands to her chest, curling on her side and falling back into an exhausted sleep.

 

And I don't wanna let this go

I don't wanna lose control

I just wanna see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

Someone tell me why

I just wanna see the stars with you

 

It had been a few weeks since Y/n’s scare, and I decided I didn’t wanna waste any more time. I had something planned for her. “Dean,” Y/n whined, irritated. “What’re you doing?”

“Shh! Just let me take you somewhere without questions. Please?” I watched her take a deep breath before nodding, making a smile light up my face. I knew she was tired, but I also knew she was going to love what I had planned for her. 

We drove down the road in the dark night, Y/n sending me questioning glances every once in a while. But I kept my mouth shut, instead deciding to sing along to the Led Zeppelin tape that was currently blasting through the speakers.

I pulled into a paddock with with a hill, a beautiful maple tree placed smack bang on the top. I opened up the boot and pulled out a picnic basket and looked back to Y/n, who was manning the flashlight, and I wiggle my eyebrows. 

I took her ice cold hands, that were once filled with warmth, into mine and we slowly, but surely, made our way up the hill. I set a blanket down and the basket on top, helping her sit down as I did. 

We are and talked, ignoring reality for as long as we could. We laughed and played around, pushing each other and cuddling. I laid back with her in my arms and we looked up at the stars. A shooting star shot past us and without hesitation I made a wish. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I had to try. 

“Dean, this is beautiful.” She smiled as she looked over at me. I kissed her on the head,

“So are you.” 

She laughed as snuggled back into my side, sighing. 

“I love you, Dean. Forever and always.”

“I love you too, Y/n.. forever and always.” 

 

Don't give it up just yet stay grand for

One more minute

Don't give it up just yet stay grand...

 

Y/n died two days later in her sleep. ‘Painless’ some might say. When all I could feel was pain. My heart, My soul, my life, my meaning, was gone. 

 

And I don't wanna let this go

I don't wanna lose control

I just wanna see the stars with you

 

“To my dearest Dean,

I love you with all my heart and soul. You are and always will be my other half.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, building a family and growing old with you. I know it’s all we ever wanted. 

Please, don’t blame yourself. There was nothing any of us could do. We tried our best. That’s all that matters. 

I’m going to miss you, and I know you’re going to miss me too, but keep fighting the fight, Dean Winchester. You’re a man of many things, and strength is one of them. 

Find someone who loves you, just as much as I do, no more, no less. You deserve to be happy Dean. I know you’ll live an amazing life. 

Hug Sammy every day for me, will you? And know that I’m watching over you now. I’m your guardian angel. 

I will always be with you, forever and always,

 

See you very soon my love,

 

Love Y/n.”

 

And I don't wanna say goodbye

Someone tell me why

I just wanna see the stars with you

 

“I love you, Y/n. Forever and always.”

 

With you.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it or have any REQUESTS!!!!


End file.
